Each of us is born to act for ourselves and not to be acted upon, yet as we proceed through life experiencing letdown's and challenges we gradually give control of various aspects of our lives over to habits or addictions that wrap numbing chains around us and bind us down. Few of us wish to admit that we have these habits because if we did, we'd feel the need to change. And well, it's easier to deny it and not have to deal with it than to acknowledge it and actually have to do something about it. It's an easier way out. As a good friend of mine says, those of us who deny our habits are in essence saying, ''Don't mind that dinosaur in the living room. We just walk around him.''

Whether you're escaping with TV, computers, work, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs or food, you're still escaping. You're running from yourself -- your own thoughts. In the last article in this series, Escape we discussed why people feel the need to retreat from reality. In this article, we're going to learn how to overcome controlling habits to unleash more freedom and power in our lives.

Admit It

Denial has to stop. We have to admit that we are harming our lives, our bodies, or those around us. No more excuses; no more denying the facts. We have to admit that we've been hiding and escaping. Whether we're couch potatoes, workaholics, alcoholics or crack addicts, we must admit that something else is controlling our lives and that if we would gain control, we'd be happier and better off.

We're talking about humility. There are two ways to become humble enough to admit you have a problem -- voluntarily or by force. Admitting it on your own is the easier path. It's never easy overcoming addictions, but when you do it yourself, it's easier than being compelled. Humbling yourself can be motivated by knowledge of the facts or perhaps your child coming home from school and asking you to stop smoking. It could come by catching a vision of who you want to be without these controls and with the additional freedom.

Being compelled to be humble is the tougher road because some people get overwhelmed and give up. Going cold turkey with all of your addictions at once is an excellent way to compel yourself to be humble. As the withdrawals and the cravings set in, it becomes abundantly clear that there is a major problem. As one recovering individual who formerly denied there was a problem expressed, ''I never would have guessed that it had that kind of hold over my life until I tried to quit.''

Desire

You have to want it for yourself. No one can make you desire something. It's your choice from within. One young mother in her early 30's has just been diagnosed with early stages of emphysema. Her family members and friends have tried every scare tactic in the book to get her to give up her cigarettes, but with no avail. She simply wants her cigarettes more. She denies that cigarettes cause cancer. She rejects the doctor's diagnosis and continues to puff along. Until and unless this young woman gains a desire to quit, it's not going to happen.

Believe

Believe that you can beat your habits. Believe that life will be better without them. Have faith that you can be a better person with a brighter future without your addictions. Believe with hard work, time, patience & God's help you can overcome. Even if you can do no more than desire to believe, let that desire work in you until you begin to believe. Visualize it. Picture who you'll be and what your life will be like when you are finally free. See it with your eye of faith.

Commit

Nothing ever happens until you commit to it. Commit to start today not tomorrow or the next day or after you finish the next big project or after stress in your life reduces. Stop procrastinating and commit. Phrases like: ''I'll try,'' ''someday,'' ''we'll see,'' and ''I'll start next week'' have no place in your vocabulary. Act now! Commit.

Do It

Take steps toward eliminating addictive habits from your life. If you are a workaholic, strategist and coach, Jenette Zubero, suggests, ''Think back to things you use to enjoy on your own. Before you were married or had kids. Before you had a significant other or roommates. When it was just you, what types of movies did you enjoy renting? What types of food did you buy? What types of activities did you enjoy on your own? Choose five of those things to do for yourself this month. Put yourself back in touch with what you really like and enjoy.''

If you have a cigarette addiction, select a stop-smoking method that works for you. This might be the patch or gradually reducing the number you smoke each day or quitting completely.

If you use drugs on a daily basis, you could reduce your use to once a week, then once every two weeks and then once a month, then never. Or you could throw them out and never turn back.

Don't Get Discouraged

When you try to quit, you're most likely going to hit snags. You're going to have your bad days and your good days. Many people who try to quit, especially if they go cold-turkey experience withdrawals and panic feelings. When this hits, it can be so overwhelming that they give up and say, ''I tried it. It didn't work. I failed.'' What's important to remember is that if you fail, you're not a failure. If it doesn't work the way you think it's going to, don't run away. Keep trying; tweak your method until you find a way. Be diligent.

Have a Friend

Friends and family can make or break this process. Unfortunately, many people who have habits to conquer are also surrounded by individuals who condone or even encourage their habits. This is in large measure caused by the very fact that we consciously select people who will make us feel comfortable about ourselves. If you surround yourself with enough people who are doing the same thing, you can talk yourself into thinking it's all right. You say, ''So I drink, everyone drinks. What's the big deal?''

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of having a friend you can confide in who will support you through this process. A friend can make or break one's ability to overcome overpowering habits. A friend who won't let you give up or give in; a friend who won't break down and join you in your addictions; a friend who continually reminds you of that vision of who you want to become is priceless. This person can help you realize when you're discouraged and want to quit that these feelings are normal, but that you can keep going even if you have to slow your progression down to a snail's pace. As long as you're stepping forward, you're making progress.

If you are fortunate to be blessed with such a friend, be honest with them. Let them know about all your addictions. They can't help you if they don't know exactly what you're up against. Some addictions are easier to beat than others are and if you only tell them about the easier ones, they may not know to warn you of difficulties that you'll encounter in eliminating your deeper addictions.

If you will work at it and never give up, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the person you can become; you can overcome your addictions. You can do it!

Marnie Pehrson helps people live healthier and happier lives by removing the toxins from their homes. For more information Click here.

Marnie Pehrson, a mother of 6, has been highlighting truth and talent for 15 years. Whether it's writing a novel that spotlights individuals who've made a difference in the world or helping a talented entrepreneur create a platform for his life's work, Marnie underscores truth and talent in innovative and compelling ways. She is the creator of www.IdeaMarketers.com and helps experts promote their products and services online. For more information on her various projects and books, visit http://www.pwgroup.com. Contact the author, Marnie Pehrson , at marnie@pwgroup.com
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