MERRY CHRISTMAS from Marnie Pehrson!
My Gift to You Is:

Miss Humbug
By Marnie L. Pehrson
Ebook version Free - Just fill out the form below
It's Christmastime, and emotionless, cold and calculating Elaina Houston would rather work than celebrate. Not only is Christmas a complete waste of time and money in her opinion, but also it brings with it haunting memories that drive Elaina further into her frigid shell. Work is the only answer, but she's surrounded by coworkers who bask in the holiday glow, constantly reminding her of painful memories from Christmases gone by. 

Then one night, a week before Christmas, her past comes back to haunt her, and she's given an ultimatum. Either she learns the Spirit of Christmas or she won't live to see another December 25th.

Also Miss Humbug is Now Available on a 2-Volume Audio CD Set for only $11.95
Click here to order

Listen to the first part of Chapter 1

Excerpt:

December 16th

“Merry Christmas, Ms. Houston,” the elderly doorman tipped his hat as he opened the glass door to the office complex.

“Good morning,” Elaina Houston waved her gloved hand and quickly brushed past him. She headed straight for the elevator and pressed the up button. The toe of her black stilettos tapped impatiently on the green marble floor as she awaited her transportation. She removed her gloves and put them in her coat pockets. After forty seconds, she released a heavy sigh and thrust her hand to her hip. Elaina’s immaculately manicured burgundy nails tapped against her black wool overcoat. Her eyes darted to the stair entrance and then down at her high heels.

Just as she decided that the stairs wouldn’t be such a great idea, the elevator dinged and the door opened. She tossed her hand with an impatient flair and then quickly stepped inside, carrying her leather briefcase as three people stepped off and four others followed her aboard. Her index finger pressed 15 and both hands clasped the handle of the briefcase in front of her. The elevator stopped on nearly every floor between the first and the 15^th, letting people off and others on. By the time they reached the tenth floor, Elaina irritatedly checked her watch and released a heavy sigh – five ‘til nine. She should be in her office right now.

So preoccupied was she with the time that she didn’t notice Nick Aimes, the tall, strapping heartthrob of Mullins and Mullrooney Enterprises. Every woman in the office practically threw herself at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Southerner. Born and bred near Nashville, Tennessee, his mother had evidently spent quite a bit of time training her son in the proper use of Ma’ams and Sir’s and how to open doors and hail taxies for the fairer sex in such a way that even the most hardened New York City feminist could not be offended. He was quite a novelty in the mile-a-minute New York City life. The only woman who never gave him the time of day was Elaina Houston, Vice President of Marketing. Elaina was as hard as those long burgundy nails of hers. Everything was about business for Elaina. Her co-workers joked about her when she wasn’t around. They wondered if she even slept. If she did, her dreams were probably about spreadsheets and marketing strategies. More likely she plugged into a recharging station at night like a Borg from Star Trek.

Nick smiled as he studied Elaina and pictured her with wires coming out of her beautiful body connecting her to the collective consciousness of the Borg. The humor faded from his lips, replaced by a sad expression. She was really quite pitiful – emotionless other than irritation and impatience. As far as he could tell she had no family, no one who loved her, and no one to love. “Ice Woman” was what Charlie in packaging called her. Of course, Charlie was a relentless flirt and Nick warned him he was wasting his energy pursuing Elaina. When he finally got up the nerve to ask her to dinner, Elaina shot him down cold.

“Thank you, No,” was her frigid emotionless reply. If he’d been a telemarketer she would have replaced the receiver coolly before he got out his first, “But…” Instead she simply clapped her heels across the granite floor, entered her office and shut the door, leaving Charlie with the proverbial tail caught between his legs.

If friendly Charlie couldn’t pull off a dinner invitation with Elaina, no one else stood a chance. So no one else tried. That was two years ago and no one had attempted an invitation since. Even the females who tried to befriend Elaina found themselves pushed away.

Elaina glanced up at the floor indicator and noticed Nick staring at her. What was that expression on his face? Pity? The corners of his lips turned up and he nodded his head in a friendly gesture. The pity was still there though. She’d have none of it – his nor anyone else’s. She made no attempt to return the acknowledgement, but turned her aloof gaze back to see that the elevator had now reached her floor. The doors opened and she quickly stepped out, her stilettos clapping briskly across the hard floor toward her office.

Nick exited after her and watched her for several moments and then turned in the opposite direction toward his own office.

“Good morning, Mr. Aimes,” a tall red-headed secretary greeted him.

“Good morning, Melissa,” he nodded cheerily, “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” greeted several other office workers.

Elaina shut her office door soundly and set her briefcase down on her desk, opened it and pulled out a CD of the presentation she’d worked on last night at home. She walked over to the window to her office that looked out over the rows of cubicles. A glittering Christmas tree fully decorated with gold, silver and red ornaments sat in the center with cubicles encircling it as if everyone were gathered around some sort of shrine.

“Christmas,” she gritted distastefully. It won’t be over soon enough for me. They’re all useless at this time of year. Can’t get a thing out of them, she thought to herself. All they do is watch the clock, waiting for the moment they can leave and go waste more of their money on presents, parties, and decorations.

From a marketing standpoint, she had to admit that nothing was so ingenious as to have millions of people go out automatically every November and December and spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need. She wished she’d thought of it herself. As a matter of fact, she wished she owned a credit card company. Those people were the ones making a killing! Instead she worked for Mullins and Mullrooney. Those two old geezers had been in business since the day they graduated Harvard. They were the two most soft-hearted venture capitalists on the planet – investing in everything from innovative computer gadgets to the latest leak-guard diaper. Any inventor who thought he had the next best thing since the invention of the PC traipsed through Mullins and Mullrooney Enterprises, pitching their wares.

It was Elaina’s job to figure out how to market the stuff. Sometimes she had her job cut out for her because, personally, she couldn’t see why anyone would buy the junk – no matter how Charlie from packaging wrapped it or Nick from development improved upon the design.  The fact was, that Mr. Mullins and Mr. Mullrooney felt it their God-ordained obligation to help every poor sap live his dream. Because their hearts were bigger than their brains, the company didn’t thrive as Elaina knew it could.

“If I were in charge, things would be a lot different around here, that’s for sure,” she muttered under her breath. The first thing to go would be that stupid tree. She closed the shades so she wouldn’t have to see the insufferable symbol of holiday cheer.

She sat down at her desk and went to work on her computer. She looked up when she heard a knock at the door.

“Come,” she answered.

“Ms. Houston, here are the figures from Development and Packaging on that new diaper bag with the built-in bottle warmer,” Angela laid a stack of papers on Elaina’s desk.

“When will those guys ever learn to use email and just shoot over the files?” Elaina asked her secretary.

Angela shrugged, “I believe it’s because Mr. Mullins and Mr. Mullrooney like hard copies.”

“But I don’t like hard copies. They’re a waste of paper and time. I just have to ask for the files anyway in order to perform my calculations.”

“Yes, Ms. Houston . I’ll pass along your suggestion again.”

“Please do that. They don’t seem to read my emails.”

Angela rolled her eyes as she turned back toward the door. She stepped out and closed it behind her. Mumbling under her breath she mocked her boss:

“I wish I didn’t have to read your emails! ‘Get me the Merriweather file – ASAP!  You were 5 minutes late again, Angela! Plan on staying at least three hours later today!’ Doesn’t she get that I’m a single mother with children to feed? I swear the woman is oblivious! Night after night she keeps me overtime, and then fusses if I’m two minutes late the next morning!”

 ~*~

At 4:45 p.m. Elaina checked her email and clicked the headline of the company-wide memo.

“Effective now through Christmas, everyone must vacate the building by 5:15pm . Go home and enjoy your families and the holiday season!

Merry Christmas!

Mr. Roger Mullrooney and Mr. Harry Mullins”

“Good grief!” Elaina rolled her eyes. “How do they expect to run a profitable business with this kind of nonsense? Oh – right – I forgot – they aren’t in it for profit,” she quipped sarcastically. “Our mission statement is to ‘make the little guys’ dreams come true,’” she sneered with another roll of her eyes. Elaina had a habit of talking to herself. Loneliness does that to a person – of course Elaina would never admit to being lonely.

She spent the last few minutes emailing work home to herself. If they wouldn’t let her use her office, she’d just have to finish her work at home. Someone had to keep those two old fools from running the business into the ground.

The elevators overflowed with people following orders to vacate the building. Elaina managed to find a spot in the second group taking the second elevator.

The crowd of people closed in around her and grew even more smothering when floor after floor the elevator picked up new people. Elaina inhaled deeply, attempting to control her frustration. What was that tantalizing smell? It had to be the best smelling men’s cologne on the planet. Why don’t we represent the inventors of that stuff? Reflexively she looked around to see who smelled so wonderful and found the source immediately to her right. Nick Aimes’ eyes followed the numbers – 12, 11, 10. He stood close – incredibly close. Her eyes quickly darted back toward the door. Why was her heart beating so fast? Claustrophobia – that’s it – crammed in this dinky elevator with so many people. She inhaled deeply again.

Dang! He smells good!

The elevator stopped again, letting two more people on. As they nudged their way in, a woman in heels lost her balance and fell backwards, sending the others with a domino effect toward Elaina. Nick lunged forward and knocked Elaina off balance. Quickly he reached out his left hand to brace himself against the wall of the elevator and his other went around her waist, pulling her toward him in one strong tug to prevent her from falling.

People shoved them so far over that now Elaina’s back pressed against the wall of the elevator, Nick’s arm still encircled her waist and his pale blue eyes caught hers as his left arm still braced against the wall over her head. His muscular form stood a full foot taller than her and as her eyes caught his, her heart hammered. She completely forgot to breathe. Even Ice Woman had to thaw a little in such a warm environment. She could even feel a flush rising to her cheeks. He was smiling now – those darn dimples and his thick, smooth Tennessee accent was apologizing and asking her if she was okay.

The whole thing had a surreal quality to it, and all she could do was nod affirmatively confirming that she was fine. Soon, the group in the elevator managed to right themselves, but why was he still leaning over her with his arm around her waist? His smile was engaging – a different one than he usually wore when he looked at her. There wasn’t the usual pity. He was interested in her! For a fleeting second she felt flattered, but the emotion vanished as quickly as it arrived. Nonsense! She didn’t have time for a messy office romance!

“Excuse me,” she moved to escape his presence, but there wasn’t much of anywhere to go.

Nick seemed to come to his own senses. He must have realized that he was hovering over the Ice Woman. He excused himself, released her, and turned to the door.

They both stepped off the elevator on the first floor. Nick buttoned the top buttons of his khaki wool overcoat, tightened his red Christmas scarf around his neck and accompanied her to the front door.

The doorman opened the exit, and Nick gestured for Elaina to go first.

“Merry Christmas, Elaina,” Nick waved as she started left and he went right.

“Good night,” she replied as she continued on her way, her heels clicking against the pavement.

“Why don’t you ever say Merry Christmas?” Nick muttered to himself as he quickly peered over his shoulder as Elaina disappeared around the corner.  She may be cold as a cucumber, but she was beautiful – that ash blonde hair, emerald green eyes, thick eyelashes and full kissable lips. What was he thinking? This is Elaina Houston you’re talking about! Forget about her! Nick reminded himself.  

Miss Humbug is Now Available 
on a 2-Volume Audio CD Set for only $11.95
Click here to order